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| Much time has passed since my last entry in the blog.
I sold off the piece of land I purchased thirteen years ago in Panchkula, near Chandigarh last year. My father passed away on 31 July,2008 after falling sick in May,2008. Became aware that much time has passed.
We knew he would not live much once he fell sick. He also knew that. He was 85. His heart was week. His eyesight was weak and he tried to read newspaper with a magnifying glass. He prepared for the passing away. He sold off his home and paddy fields and rubber hills in the village. Put the money in the bank, not a big sum though, and left precise instruction how the money to be distributed among four of us--- one sister and three brothers. Also instructed how mother should be taken care of.
He was a proud man and he lived all his life on his own terms. For the last two months of his life, he lived with my sister, who is a physician and we thought that will be the best course as he needs medical supervision. Rest of the time, he lived independently. Ruby, the maid would buy vegetables and groceries and cook for both of them. My mother's hands shake due to Parkinsons and she does not do the cooking for many years now.
Last year May I went to see him when he fell sick. I saw him coming to terms with death. He knew doctors have given up on him when they discharged him from ICU and asked to be taken home and continue with the medicines. My sister told me his chances are slim and he may not recover . His feet were black due to lack of blood circulation as the heart was weak. Mejda and I rubbed our hands against his feet and after few days it turned normal. Due to infection in the air passage, he used to cough a lot and slimy saliva would come out. He was happy with Aluminum toilet chair that I carried with me from Singapore. He did not have to go and sit on the squat toilet.
He seemed to be getting well, except that he seemed to have lost his recenet memory. He asked why we are packing although he knew that we planned to move to Gauhati from Silchar.
The day before the flight to Silchar we moved to Barail view, the hotel. All household items were loaded into a truck for Gauhati. Rented house was given back to the owner. Many books were dumped. All volumes of Chaitanya Charitamrit Sejda took them. Some volumes of Kalyan Magazines were taken by Hindi speaking packers. Lunch at the hotel was nice and delicious. He enjoyed it. He suddenly started eating spoonfuls of sugar. I quickly took them away, he was a diabetic. He lost his mind partly. Afternoon, all three --- myself flanked by my father and mother on either side slept peacefully in the air conditioned hotel room in the hot summer day of June 1. In the evening many guests came to bid farewell. I had asked for hot tea and pakora to be served from the room service. They were nice.
Next day, we took the flight to Gauhati in the morning. All day, he was uneasy and felt he has to use the toilet, but once in the toilet he did not pass anything. In my sister's house in Gauhati, he was incontinent a couple of times. He did not lose his humour. He told Ruby, the maid how nice it feels to pass urine in the bed!
He needed a cell phone and asked me to get him one. I managed to get him a new cell phone the day before I left for Calcutta on 6 June. The cell phone stopped working once they moved to Agartala.
Every week at least once I would speak to my father over the telephone. He told me once he wants to accept death in total awareness. This concept is from Hinduism where it is believed during your passage from one life to the next rebirth if you are aware, you would take up a nobler order of birth. Human birth is of course considered noblest.
I am not sure if that is what used to keep him and all his caregivers awake all night and he would be sleepy and drowsy all day.
Towards his last days, my mother told me he took out his Tulasi mala and pronouncing " Sarv dharman parityejya mamekong sharanang braja" he surrendered himself to his God.
When the news came on 31st July through SMS on my cell phone, I stopped reviewing Dry etch Projects briefly, talked to my mother and decided on the day I would arrive in Agartala. Dada and my mother were at his bedside when he passed away peacefully at noon. Dry Etch projects reviewed restarted after fifteen minutes of interruption. Life continues.
But since then, probably a single day has not passed I have not thought about him. In many respects he was one of my heroes. But that in another blog.
But since then I became aware of my own mortality. I became aware much time has passed.
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| I was in the Mall yesterday waiting for the lift door to open, a small boy of around 10 years ran quickly and went ahead of me as the lift door opened. His mother came up and told me 'sorry gentleman, this boy will learn his manners one day'. I was amused. She thought I was unhappy the way the boy cut infront of me. Actually I thought nothing of that. That shows one aspect of very civil American society. You enter any shop in the mall and the sales person will come up and ask 'how are you doing today'? Asians who are usually taciturn and not used to this kind of banter will wonder why everybody is interested to know how he is doing ! America is a land of individuality and choice. In a restaurant, conversation with the waiter will go like this. Good evening ,sir! My name is Dunstan. I shall take care of you today. How are you doing? I am doing fine, thank you. Are you ready to give your order or you want to munch on bread stick or something before you take your time to decide? No, thanks. I donot need breadstick. Are you sure sir? Yes, I am. OK. Thank you , sir. Take your time. Dunstan, I have decided what I want. That's great sir. So you want salad. Ceasar salad or garden salad? Garden salad. Fine. Will you like it plain or with olive oil and vinegar. With olive oil and vinegar. Small size or medium size? Small size. Do you want it with Minestrone soup or without soup? With Minestrone soup. Do you want sprinkle of freshly ground pepper on your soup? Yes. Pepper please. As the conversation finally ends, you realise that America is a land of choice indeed.You cannot just get a bowl of salad and eat it. That's all for now, folks! | | |
| Sunday. Went to the hotel Gym at the ground floor for 30 minutes of running and a little bit of Yoga stretching. Felt very invigorated. After breakfast, went to see the Great Falls Park. Falls are not as great as the pamphlet says. Shillong has falls of higher heights but doesnot have the marketing genius of the Americans. Sight, however is beautiful. This is on Potomac river that flows through Washington DC. This time around , did not lose the way. GPS system on the Ford Taurus, guiding and telling every turn to take. Marvellous--impressed by the power of technology. After the Falls, straight to Washington DC. Parking the car was a headache. Kept on moving around till a person went and vacated his slot. This is truly a city of Museums. There is Smithsonian Institution-- the world's largest Museum complex. It has under its wings Gallery of Art, National Air and space museum, National museum of American history, National Museum of Natural history etc. Then there is Washingtom monument, an obelisk of 897 steps. From the top you will be rewarded with a great view of the City. Then there is the US Capitol-- seat of US Federal Governrment. There is the office of the Mayor of Washington DC (District of Colombia).Then there is Vietnam Veterans memorial. Today, being Fathers's day, there was great rush of people visiting the memorial. There is the huge building of the court. On the wall among other things, this is written ' when the law ends, tyrrany begins'. One day is not sufficient to see and soak in the sights. Peeped through the boundary fence of White house from a great distance. Bush was nowhere in sight! That's all for now, folks! | | |
| Comfort zone... the person who coined this word was creative. It vividly says activities that people will not usually undertake simply because they are not comfortable with it. At middle age I am realising that half of my life is gone trying to find education, a job , a shelter for myself and family . At this point, I need to stretch my comfort zone a little further than what I did in other stages of my life. Shall I be comfortable driving in US and reach hotel from Reagan National Airport(DCA)? No. OK. then do that. I did and lost my way. My colleague who had visited Manassas,VA before was doing the navigator's part. Still lost at 1:30 am at night and was going away from the city lights of Washington DC into the unlit wilderness of this vast country. It did not seem right. It was not.Then we saw some local office of CIA and luckily there we found the U turn.Headed towards Washington DC. Trying to find the interstate highway 66West that will lead towards Manassas.Hit the curb once.My colleague panicked. Took a right turn and went onto the left side of a two way street. Oncoming vehicles did blink and warned me. Quickly realized, I need to be on the "right" side of the road , else it is wrong. Got mysef quickly back on the right side. Less traffic on the road helped. Being 2am at night helped. Some more driving and found the 66West. From then on, it was a breeze. Took exit at 47B for Manassas. A short distance and took right turn into Battleview Parkway. Took right turn into the second lane and there was Courtyard Marriott, our hotel. Pulled up the car in front of the porch of the hotel and offloaded our luggage. Wait a minute! Why my car is facing other two cars parked ? Realized that I needed to be in the right side while taking that loop leading to the porch. OK. I had had enough feeling of uncomfortableness. When I slept it was 4am in the morning. Next day, called Baba in Silchar and he told that 'bhoot' must have followed me in the night to cause me lose my way. OK. next day I am going to Hertz again to change my car and to get one with GPS(global positioning system)--named Never Lost. That's all for now, folks! | | |
| It was semi dark in the morning today as it started to drizzle. I was halfway through my jogging and was passing through the deserted Zhenghua Park. Not a soul nearby. At the end of the park, appeared two people. One Indian youth and another Indian girl in Greenridge Secondary School uniform. As I approached them I noticed the girl was crying and the the youth was pulling her right hand towards the Park. Just by natural reaction I asked the youth " Is anything wrong ?" The guy smiled and said " she is playing fool". I jogged on. As I left them I was bothered by the image of a girl being pulled towards a deserted park apparently against her will. That was not the direction of her school. But the girl was not even shouting for help. She was silently crying. Is that a BGR problem? If something untoward happned--- could I have prevented that? Could I have probed the guy a little more? There was this other image of a leopard which apparently fled from the zoo and people rained lethal blows to bring him down. It was caught by TV cameraman and shown in the Zee TV. Leopard was running for life. People waiting with bamboo stave in hand in the building corner for the beast to come. It came running. One blow. It fell on the ground, picked itself up and ran again. Now blood dripping from the corner of its mouth. Then came another blow from another man. This time straight on its head. It fell down and did not come up. One man gingerly put his stick on its neck. It turned to look at the man and finally fell asleep. At that moment, it was tough to judge which one of them was the animal... That's all for now, folks! | | |
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